My weight has been the focus of my renaissance since May and will remain such until I reach my target weight, but weight isn't all I am changing. I am changing ME.
What I really didn't consider was the impact going about this whole change would have on my life. The results thus far have been positive in their effect in so many areas- but mainly in my interactions with others.
There was time (mere months ago) that I would shy from just about every social occasion for fear of being a spectacle. I stayed away from certain people simply because they wanted to help me. I'd stay home most of the time, avoiding what I considered uncomfortable, and worse, I would send my family to apologize for my absence.
That is no way to live. That's isn't how I was and it certainly is not how I will remain.
As I'm slowly chipping away I notice that I am more open and friendly, more apt to accept invitations to social events, and generally have a more positive attitude toward just about everything. Am I coming out of some sort of depression? I don't know about that. My prior actions have been rather logical considering my circumstances. I've been making myself logically and practically inconspicuous.
I used to jokingly refer to the once-skinny me in old pictures as "just some guy I ate" while adding some weak Donner Party reference. It's true- I did eat that guy and buried him deeply. Now all I want to do is barf him back up and let him live his life once more.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I have finally DECIDED to change (or change back) and am making significant progress towards that end. What's more is that I am enjoying myself more and more in the process.
That is a good feeling- a feeling I never want to change.
Looking back over a lifetime of meager accomplishments has helped me to realize something. What little I've done and/or accumulated was the direct result of having set some goal at some time prior.
Not just setting the goal caused the result to come about. It also required focus and action. Many times this was done almost unconsciously. Over a period of several years early in my twenties I associated with some people who were very goal-driven. We attended almost every seminar and lecture there was on goal setting and achievement- from Carnegie to Robbins to Ziglar to Tompkins- we were there.
Over time a lot of the stuff began to sink in. And it worked. I'd visualize my desired outcome- whatever that might be, build a huge amount of desire around it, take massive action at getting it, adjust my strategies when necessary, and get what I wanted. It was that simple. It worked. It began to become something I did automatically.
Over time, friends split, families grew, and focus changed. I settled down, developed routines, and became satisfied- became comfortable. I've just got to say that satisfaction and comfort are probably the worst conditions for human development. They are synonymous with stagnation and decay; because if you aren't improving, you are decaying- you are ROTTING. No surprise- that's a BAD thing.
As part of my renaissance I am awakening those old habits of goal setting and accomplishment. I'm shaking the crap loose and improving- each and every moment through decision and action.
