Understand that I mean no offense toward other humans when I say the following,

“As a human, I am inherently selfish and lazy.”

I use the identifier “human” in it's most general sense. That means I'll concede that you, personally, may not be selfish and lazy. I am. I admit it. Even when I'm doing something that appears selfless and entirely charitable, I'm doing it because I feel good after I've done it, or I felt good in the past after doing something similar. I'd say that particular motivation is fairly selfish of me.

Also understand that selfish and lazy isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just is the way I believe that it is. Mummies stagger, wolf-men howl, and vampires suck. That's just what they do, it's inherent and I accept it. I think people tend to do things in the most readily apparent and easiest way to satisfy their desire to feel good, and I characterize that as selfish and lazy. That method is used in most situations; in changing from straight to junkie, sober to alcoholic, fit to obese, and so on. We prefer doing things the easy way to get to the good feelings. The thing is, it's too easy to satisfy the selfish urges that do us the most harm.

The selfishness in which I most readily indulged resulted in obesity. Food tastes so good, I can just eat it up! My favorite holiday by far was Thanksgiving. Oh, the food! It just tastes so good and feels so warm in the stomach! Napping on a full stomach was like heaven! It just all felt so good.

Really? No, not really. Well, not entirely.

I recall horrendous heartburn and gas, stomach aches and terrible pumpkin pie hangover. I was truly miserable for most of the day following the big meal. Ugh! And the self-loathing! Don't get me started!

What is it that changes everything? Why am I so different now? Am I really any different? Who even thinks enough to answer such deep questions regarding my twisted psyche?

I do, that's who! I'm selfish and lazy and this is all about me! So let's take the easy stuff first. That makes sense. I'm really no different (other than lighter and thinner) than I was before. There, that knocks out two of the three questions right there; easy-peasy. I haven't changed at all, not one little bit--- but the way I think about things has.

That brings me to the first question. What is it that changes everything? The answer is not so surprising. I do, I change everything. I change what things mean to me; their definition and importance. Things like food and exercise for example. Food is now fuel that powers my body to exercise and exercise is something that I love that shapes and tones my body into what it should be, a lean, sculpted mass of what I was before I piled on the adipose.

Whoa! What I mean to say is that my renaissance is all about getting healthy and slimming down to my appropriate weight and BMI, all while toning and increasing strength and endurance. That's all. And because I've changed what things mean to me, I'm able to keep on keeping on. Delusion? Maybe, but it's what carries me. I'm thinking one form of delusion or another is what carries us all-- but none of that or anything mumbo-jumbo-ish matters, it's the RESULTS of our decisions and actions that lend proof to the pudding.

What would happen to an individual who consumed the proper amount of nutritional calories for a person of their actual height and ideal weight and who exercised the recommended amount each day (or week)? Say, for example, a guy was 6' 5” tall and the acceptable weight for a person his height was 200 pounds. Say this same person required 2,000 calories to maintain that weight.

So what happens to this guy after a year? Nothing. He stays healthy. But if the guy started out weighing 380 pounds and maintained proper eating and nutrition for a 200 pounder, then logic would indicate that his weight would decrease to compensate for the amount of food he was eating. His body would seek equilibrium. Simple addition and subtraction.

Now, I keep bringing this stuff up in one form or another as a re-affirmation; so that I'll believe it, internalize it, and continue to live it. It's been working so far and with the results I'm getting it's certainly a delusion I can live with.

Happy Halloween!